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John's Falls

    The Falls of John from extracts of events as recounted by Colin Jeffries

One of the early converts of our introduce a friend evenings was our present secretary, John Walker, a true stalwart in the club. Alistair Lindsayalways says that John Walker is ill-named as the last thing you ever see John doing is walking. He is always on the go, running hither and thither, always busy. However as far as curling is concerned I think that the name John Faller would be more appropriate.

At the beginning of his curling career John was renowned for his instability on the ice, usually during the course of his highly energetic sweeping. There was a well-remembered game where John and I were playing on a team and the team was being well cuffed when John had a spectacular fall which required him to be taken off to the Doctor, by one of our opposition, for a cut to the head. Once they had left, our team staged a remarkable recovery and ended up easy winners. However Ian Thompson the president at the time astutely observed that the opposition had been weakened by the loss of their player, but that John's absence had strengthened our team considerably and declared the game null and void.

Last year, during a game where our team had an end sown up, in desperation Robert Lamont decided to let loose with an ignorant wellie of a shot which scattered the stones. The sheet of ice next to where our team was playing was empty and John was absentmindedly using his brush as a golf club, swinging away, when suddenly there was a great clatter as John swung himself off his feet and landed on his back. Most of us rushed over to see if John was OK. John was lying on his back doing an impersonation of a dying fly with his arms and hands waving but he too was laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. We helped John to his feet and then I went back to look at the head and lo and behold there was an innocent looking Robert Lamont gleefully pointing to his stone which was now lying in the centre on the pot lid in amongst a mass of ours. I still consider that Robert used John's diversion to perform a perfidious act.

Jim Keddie the ice master had seen and heard all about this fall. The following week, John was playing in a game where he was not doing well at all. In the next rink to him, Jim Keddie was having a great game and John asked him ,"Jim can you give me any tips ?" to which Jim replied, "Well when you are holding a golf club, interlock your fingers like this and try not to swing too far".


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